There are a few very important issues that must be addressed when trying to improve one’s sex life.   These are concerns that seem very simple, but may need some support with counseling, and definitely require involvement with your partner.  We are here to help you start the difficult discussions with your mate.

1.  BE HEALTHY – This is THE MOST IMPORTANT salad.jpgFIRST STEP.   Obviously it’s hard to even think about sex if you’re sick or in pain.  Eat healthy, sleep well, take vitamins, exercise often, get out in nature.  Get regular check ups, screening and lab tests.
2.  BE HAPPY –  Upbeat, positive people recognize all the good and minimize attention to the not-so-good things about themselves and their lives.  Have gratitude for all that is good and build from there.
3.  DO NOT FOCUS ON FREQUENCY of events, but on the pleasure, intimacy and connection you feel while you are together.  This is something most women understand but men need help with this concept.
4.  FEEL GOOD IN YOUR BODY- physically, mentally and emotionally.  Get counseling if you need help.  Stretch, do yoga, dance, be happy in your skin.  Get out of your head, turn off electronics early and often so you can be present in the moment.
5.  SAME PLACE SAME TIME – This is a no brainer. Schedule in rest time, play time, date nights and time for sex.  Make sure it happens.  Put it on your calendar to BE together with your partner doing something.
6.  BE APART TO CREATE ATTRACTION –  If we spend all our time together with our partner, then we lose desire.  Being apart, even for a few hours while you prepare for a special date, an help create longing and attraction.
7.  DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT – such as stand on a chair to be at different heights than you are used to.  Wear a different cologne.  Get a new vibrator, toy, or negligee.  Dance together in a sexy way.  Play a game.   Have sex in a different room, or different position, explore the possibilities!
8 .  HAVE FUN –  Don’t take yourself, your partner or any of these ideas too seriously.  Don’t miss out on the FUN by having to make everything perfect.  Just DO IT and make sure you are comfortable enough to LAUGH!
9.  INCLUDE SOME SPIRITUALITY  –  The mystery, pleasure and power of a sexual encounter can be intensified by meditation, prayer, Tantra breath, mindfulness and recognizing the loving connection to your mate(s).